Figuring It Out |
This tumblr is the randomness that is my life and the things that I like, and some postings about my life every now and again. I also really like TV. It's what I post about at a1ainagstv.tumblr.com I also have another tumblr for things related to being Native which is at dinenishli.tumblr.com |
What, or whom, did you let go of this year? Why?
The Idea of It Being All my Fault
For several years I thought it was entirely my fault that things fell apart and I blamed myself and avoided relationships because I thought that I would do the same thing and nothing would ever last because I was crazy and couldn’t work things out.
But things have fallen into place that I now know that it wasn’t entirely my fault. I’m not completely crazy. I am capable of so much more than I previously believed possible.
And by hanging onto all that insecurity about my ability to be in a relationship, I’d doomed myself. But now, it’s just like a door has been opened and I can see myself with someone finally. It’s a relief and it’s almost rewarding to meeting people and have them say the things they say. It’s nice to meet new people and not have my dark cloud of worry above me.
I think a lot of what I did this year had a lot to do with my aunt passing and being able to take these giant leaps in my own life has been intensely rewarding. The idea of mortality and the almost injustice of life has been put before me and it’s just so much clearer that I need to do more for me because no one else is going to be doing that when it all boils down.
